(no subject)

[spiteforthecamera]

[ when the tile flips you over, you find yourself falling into a dimly lit room, with nothing to cushion your fall but the drop not being terribly high in the first place. There is a large plasma screen that goes wall to wall hooked to the farthest end from them - aside from that, the room is empty, despite the lubdub rhythmic thrum of electricity. The room is perhaps surprisingly warm.

On the big screen, a young woman sits in a completely different room, looking unimpressed. She has a gummi bear in hand. ]

With that kind of half assed prayer I couldn't tell if you fucks were trying to summon a demon or a wet fucking fart. The fuck do you shitnuggets want?

Comments

[spiteforthecamera]

What, you want to undo it? But I thought you fucksticks wanted to stop being idols.

[crossmyheartandhope]

Not if not being idols means not being anywhere at all.

[unbr8kable]

Selfish, I know, but preferably we'd get at least one choice of which crappy ending we're headed towards.

[spiteforthecamera]

You did and you fucked it up, shitstains.

[ picking apart the gummi body now ]

Fuck, you don't even know how good you got it. Do you know how many people would kill to be in your position? And here I am, stuck being the manager in all this stupid mess! Ugh.

[ irritated, clearly, though her tone doesn't quite match the way her face moves - her expression doesn't change much at all, the only part of her face that really moves is her eyes rolling; her voice turns sing-song, condescending ]

All you have to do is not be a selfless piece of shit.

[crossmyheartandhope]

What do you mean, the manager? You, what - do the tech, run the show?

[unbr8kable]

When'd we fuck it up? --When were we selfless shits, him notwithstanding.

[spiteforthecamera]

No shit, Sherlock.

[ to nemesis: ]

You ever sail on a boat before?

[unbr8kable]

No... Why?

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Seems like the question to ask. Just listening.]

[spiteforthecamera]

Shit, what a fucking idiot. Alright, you know how you can sail on a boat, right? The fucking basics? You do know what buoyancy is?

[unbr8kable]

Yes? I assume you're getting to a point eventually?

[spiteforthecamera]

Alright, imagine Tokyo-F is a boat, and several of you are rowing. Some of you are being fuckos kicking the boat, and some of you are, I assume, doing your best. Whatever.

Doesn't matter if the rest of you are trying hard if one of you kicks at the boat hard enough to make a hole in it, see? The rest of you will sink.

[unbr8kable]

[Looks from her to Hurricane and back]

So...what? The selfless ones're fucking up the boat?

[spiteforthecamera]

You can plug up one hole, maybe two, but if enough of you kick too many holes into the boat, you're just fucked.

Here's another way to think about it. You ever think about where you are? Not just Tokyo-F, but where Tokyo-F is. What that means.

[unbr8kable]

[Looks from her to Hurricane and back again, holding her tongue for once. From her expression, she's thought about it--or actively avoided thinking about it--more than a few times.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

I mean, sure. Pretty much everyone has, I guess.

But what's being selfless even got to do with kicking holes in the boat? And what happens if we do sink? You saying we'll - what? Fall through to what's underneath?

[spiteforthecamera]

Jesus, you're a fucking idiot!

You're already drowning, numbnuts! This is the water. Humans aren't made to survive in Hell so we made you a fucking boat but soooome of you shitforbrains just haaaad to fuck it up so now you're all drowning and this project will be a failure and I'm gonna get shit for it and - ugh!

[ aggressively throwing the gummi at the screen; it jostles ]

You have any brain cells in there? You think Godly shit like selflessness does fucking anything here? What do you think Hell is!?

[crossmyheartandhope]

So we're sinking our hellboat cause - what, the hull can't stand up to heavenly impulses?

I mean, no offense, but like. You guys gave us team themes like "heroes" and asked us to play it up. There's not any way to make a stronger boat?

[unbr8kable]

Or move the boat, maybe? 'Cause yeah, whoever's complaining that a bunch of heroes and knights and schoolboys and whatever the hell else are being too nice and noble, kinda seems like they might need to start that thought process over from the beginning.

[spiteforthecamera]

No, dumbfucks. You're idols. I~dols. Hell's TV stars! It's not ~heavenly impulses~ or whatever, it's boring and you're boring and no one wants to watch this stupid TV show if you're not going to be entertaining and if you're not going to be entertaining you aren't going to exist anymore because that's the difference between the damned and someone who actually matters here - whether or not anyone actually pays any attention to you.

Here's the thing: it's like, whatever to be knightly or heroic or whatever when you're actually supposed to do that, but from here, I can't tell which of you's supposed to be the heroic one and which of you's supposed to be the knightly one. Not just you two chucklefucks either, but the rest of you failures too. And it doesn't matter if the knights and the heroes are doing it well enough, if the rest of you aren't then that's just another hole in the boat - get it yet?

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Glances at Nemesis, then back to the screen.]

So you're saying if we wanna fix this, we gotta put on a show and double down on the roles. That it?

You got an ear to the ground in the rest of hell, right? What kinda thing's the viewing audience at home wanna see?

[unbr8kable]

[Glances back at Hurricane]

And what’s the entertainment you wanna see? You said you’re on the hook for it, right?

1/2

[spiteforthecamera]

Well, first we'll have to get you new boats. Then you ungrateful shitbags can stop fucking them up and everyone will be happy!

As for me -

[spiteforthecamera]

[ with a giggle, bright and cheery ]

Juuuust make sure to do your aaaaaaaabsolute beeeeeeest! ♥ ♥ ♥

[crossmyheartandhope]

C'mn, dude, give us a pointer or two. You don't wanna get in trouble, we don't wanna drown in proverbial hellwater. We get this right, everyone wins.