(no subject)

[spiteforthecamera]

[ when the tile flips you over, you find yourself falling into a dimly lit room, with nothing to cushion your fall but the drop not being terribly high in the first place. There is a large plasma screen that goes wall to wall hooked to the farthest end from them - aside from that, the room is empty, despite the lubdub rhythmic thrum of electricity. The room is perhaps surprisingly warm.

On the big screen, a young woman sits in a completely different room, looking unimpressed. She has a gummi bear in hand. ]

With that kind of half assed prayer I couldn't tell if you fucks were trying to summon a demon or a wet fucking fart. The fuck do you shitnuggets want?

Comments

[spiteforthecamera]

Jesus, you're a fucking idiot!

You're already drowning, numbnuts! This is the water. Humans aren't made to survive in Hell so we made you a fucking boat but soooome of you shitforbrains just haaaad to fuck it up so now you're all drowning and this project will be a failure and I'm gonna get shit for it and - ugh!

[ aggressively throwing the gummi at the screen; it jostles ]

You have any brain cells in there? You think Godly shit like selflessness does fucking anything here? What do you think Hell is!?

[crossmyheartandhope]

So we're sinking our hellboat cause - what, the hull can't stand up to heavenly impulses?

I mean, no offense, but like. You guys gave us team themes like "heroes" and asked us to play it up. There's not any way to make a stronger boat?

[unbr8kable]

Or move the boat, maybe? 'Cause yeah, whoever's complaining that a bunch of heroes and knights and schoolboys and whatever the hell else are being too nice and noble, kinda seems like they might need to start that thought process over from the beginning.

[spiteforthecamera]

No, dumbfucks. You're idols. I~dols. Hell's TV stars! It's not ~heavenly impulses~ or whatever, it's boring and you're boring and no one wants to watch this stupid TV show if you're not going to be entertaining and if you're not going to be entertaining you aren't going to exist anymore because that's the difference between the damned and someone who actually matters here - whether or not anyone actually pays any attention to you.

Here's the thing: it's like, whatever to be knightly or heroic or whatever when you're actually supposed to do that, but from here, I can't tell which of you's supposed to be the heroic one and which of you's supposed to be the knightly one. Not just you two chucklefucks either, but the rest of you failures too. And it doesn't matter if the knights and the heroes are doing it well enough, if the rest of you aren't then that's just another hole in the boat - get it yet?

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Glances at Nemesis, then back to the screen.]

So you're saying if we wanna fix this, we gotta put on a show and double down on the roles. That it?

You got an ear to the ground in the rest of hell, right? What kinda thing's the viewing audience at home wanna see?

[unbr8kable]

[Glances back at Hurricane]

And what’s the entertainment you wanna see? You said you’re on the hook for it, right?

1/2

[spiteforthecamera]

Well, first we'll have to get you new boats. Then you ungrateful shitbags can stop fucking them up and everyone will be happy!

As for me -

[spiteforthecamera]

[ with a giggle, bright and cheery ]

Juuuust make sure to do your aaaaaaaabsolute beeeeeeest! ♥ ♥ ♥

[crossmyheartandhope]

C'mn, dude, give us a pointer or two. You don't wanna get in trouble, we don't wanna drown in proverbial hellwater. We get this right, everyone wins.

[unbr8kable]

Yeah. Scratch our back, we scratch yours, right?

[spiteforthecamera]

Hah! You think you've got any room to try to get pointers from me? I'm a fucking shining beacon of light for you already!

Buuuuuut fine. Just one thing from me:

I love a good, dramatic fight, but I like winners the best. Kick someone's head to the dirt with your heel for me ♥

[ the tiles underneath you start to shake, the sound of gears turning for some sort of mechanism to start operating ]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[He glances down at the floor, uneasy - puts two and two together with how they got here. A little rushed, before she gets rid of them:]

Hey, uh - you got a name?

And what do you want us to bring, case we need to talk to you again?

[unbr8kable]

Yeah. ‘Cause you know how to get in contact in case you need us, right?

[spiteforthecamera]

Hahah, so you can go back and tell everyone in your little fucking friendship parties who I am? No thanks.

LMAO, like I'm gonna tell you how to get into contact with me? You fucks are like cockroaches, you'll find a way. And me, I don't need you at all, so fuck off with that shit.

[ abruptly, the tiles flip and you can hear the last of her voice - ]

Byeeeeeeeeee bitcheeeeeeees.

[ and then - somehow, despite being definitely underground, you've been flipped from the floor of that secret room to the floor of the Game Tower's lobby. ]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Just stands there blinking for a sec before he remembers he's still holding his heart weapon and sticks it absently away in his chest again.]

...well. That sure was a thing.

[unbr8kable]

Yyyyup.

[Pops the p and rocks back on her heels]

...Wonder if it’s contractually required for everyone involved with this show to be a super fuckin weirdo.

[crossmyheartandhope]

Maybe hell just makes you nuts.

[unbr8kable]

Maybe the fading away's better after all.

[crossmyheartandhope]

C'mon, dude. We're getting shiny new boats, and you wanna go greyscale now?

[unbr8kable]

I didn't volunteer for sailing in the first place. Was hoping for air force, to be honest.

[crossmyheartandhope]

Right? Who wants to be in the Navy, anyway?

[Heading for the door.]

[unbr8kable]

Flying... That's really something.

[And following him out, close]

[crossmyheartandhope]

Guess after we flex our roleplaying muscles and pick a couple fights, we better pick up a hang glider or something.

[Heading back toward the hotel!]

[unbr8kable]

[Snorts, hooking her thumbs in her pockets]

For the getaway after the fight-picking? Should've got those rocket boots after all!

[crossmyheartandhope]

We get this right, there's still gonna be plenty of time.